My posts are seemingly getting later than usual, but I’m going to just say it: this week I had a proper excuse. You heard, after watching this week’s episode, I was bereft, and unbelievably excited and horrendously angry. I sat with my face in my hands, mouth agape, sobbing and squealing in both pleasure and grief. When I wandered into the other room, to greet my boyfriend who had been playing games, his response was, “you should be a spokesperson for people who are on the fence about watching Game of Thrones. Your responses varied so much, that you made it sound like the best thing anyone will ever watch.”
And by the old gods and the new, was he right.
Battle of the Bastards: best episode ever
This week’s episode of Game of Thrones was as impressive as it was gruelling and upsetting. The Jon Snow and Ramsay Bolton stand off over Winterfell was a wonderfully crafted and high octane piece of television that is, without a doubt, deserving of all the television awards in existence. The sheer scale, and probable budget involved in the flaying, roasting and beheading of the enormous cast of men invovlved in the most enjoyable, disgusting and best Game of Thrones episode ever even better.
DON’T RUN STRAIGHT, RICKON!!!
Upon seeing poor little Rickon, dragged unceremoniously in rope to the battlefields by Ramsay Bolton, with the undoubted understanding that he would, in some way, have to fight incredibly bloody hard for his own survival, was enough to induce a panic attack, and an endless flood of worried tears from this Stark’s face.
The blatant adoration that Jon Snow showed for Rickon, by flinging himself on his horse, and riding as hard as he bloody well could, was almost too much to take. Unfortunately, poor, sweet little Rickon met his ultimately demise by entirely being unable to run in any other direction than a straight line, and it was horrendous. I feel like Jon should have been SCREAMING for him to run in some kind of different manner – any kind of different manner – in order for him to survive would have been a logical thing to do, but whatever… When the fatal arrow hit the poor baby Stark’s chest with its violent finality, I realised I hadn’t breathed since I first saw him on the screen – being able to breathe again was good, but I felt so sad for the poor Stark baby – rest in peace, little wolf.
The final twist in the battle
Amidst a horrendously bloody tableaux of men clambering helplessly over their dead comrades, and wildling warriors wishing they’d never agreed to fight Jon Snow, there was some glorious and excellent action to be seen. Among the visceral horror that unfolded, I was certain that Tormund, Ser Davos and Jon (by far the sexiest people in Game of Thrones – with the exception of Tyrion) were about to meet their maker… Yet, there was a shining light in the horrific muck: Sansa Stark.
Sansa Stark has had a wonderful upwards trajectory this season, and it has been wonderfully refreshing to see her as something other than a punch bag or rape victim. When we thought all was lost, and Jon Snow was about to be at the mercy of the Lord of Light again, in rode Sansa with her secret reinforcements.
I am not afraid to admit, that by this point, my wits had completely gone, and I was screaming ‘WHO IS THIS, WHO IS THIS HERE? WHAT IS HAPPENING, WHERE IS SER DAVOS?!’ at the screen, believing that it was probably, and most likely to be Varys, who had apparently appeared out of nowhere from last week’s episode, at the very least. But no, it was Littlefinger, and his Knights of the Vale.
Don’t get me wrong, I was pretty excited when I saw Littlefinger and Sansa sitting side by side, but let’s be under no illusion that it was Sansa Stark – whose transformation from meek and mild little girl, to some kind of warfare heroine, complete with unrepentant guile and steel, was the one to overcome Ramsay’s army… and it felt SO SO good!
Ramsay – the Game of Thrones bastard – Bolton did everyone a favour… finally
Battle of the Bastards was an epic beyond the proportions we ever truly thought possible, yet this week’s Game of Thrones made me think entirely of every single episode where Ramsay had done despicably shitty things to other people: raping Sansa, murdering Osha, ripping the man parts from Theon Greyjoy – everything – everything came to a rapturous point in the Battle of the Bastards, and we, the audience, were finally given the wonderful retribution we have all been waiting for – that we all deserved.
Although we all assumed that Jon Snow would triumph – how could he not after last season’s cliffhanger – it was still touch and go for a long time, and there were times when I thought Game of Thrones was literally out to ruin my life, and instigate my early demise, but luckily, I was able to overcome it to witness my favourite moment ever.
Me being witness to Sansa watching – with a coldness and introspective satisfaction that we’ve never truly seen before – as Ramsay was ripped a part, limb from limb, by his once faithful mastiffs, that were perpetually used as weapons against his enemies (including his own baby brother) was beyond impressive. I am currently SO proud of Sansa Stark.
It was also a genuine relief to realise, upon credits rolling, that we will never have to gaze upon the most horrendous character Game of Thrones has ever seen… Admittedly, I’d have preferred Joffrey over this bastard.
Also, as an aside: how bloody cute was the beautiful little smushy face dog who had the honour of taking first bite out of Ramsay?! SO CUTE!
Is Daenerys on her way to Westeros?!
Last week, we saw Daenerys return from yonder, as Meereen burned in the flames of the disgruntled slavers, and this week’s episode of Game of Thrones saw a brief insight into what happened upon her return.
Slightly pissed off with Tyrion, for even talking to the horrendously violent slavers in the first place, Daenerys was about to hone in on her father’s violently hedonistic nature. Although we’ve had our issues with Daenerys in this season, particularly in relation to discovering her favourite dragon, Drogon, again (and her other dragons seemingly never leaving the caves that Tyrion had allegedly freed them from?!) – but it was the mother of dragons, and her favourite dragon, that saw some pretty epic scenes that didn’t involve snow, or giants.
It was a pretty amazing scene, in which Daenerys showed off just how formidable she truly is, while exemplifying just how loyal her royal team is to her – this also includes Tyrion, without a doubt – and I can’t help but screaming in pleasure.
Adding to this of course, the fact that the Greyjoy kids have left the brothels and have made their way to Meereen to warn Daenerys in advance of their evil uncle’s plans – could we see a little lady love tryst on the cards?! I genuinely hope so…
Roll on the final episode… SOB SOB.